Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad

3rd time... NOT A CHARM!

Don't know why I did it!
I knew it wasn't going to be any better, yet my expectations were SOARING.
Is it because of all this drama I had with you, you emailing me?
Do I need to convince myself that I'm over you? WTF is going on?
I look back at all the times, and every time you contacted me I went
with the next guy who offered himself to me... and Ummm U know.
But it was never this BAD.. and even though I know it's BAD... I went for a 3rd??
I trip myself out sometimes... Maybe I need to smoke a bowl and write something down
in the stoney thoughts...

You'd sure be laughing your ass off right now if you knew.
The routine was the same... Telling me how good I taste...
The thing is that I'm done in 5 minutes, and he's getting off on it, thinking I can still handle more!
I fake it as usual, while thinking the WTF am I doing here thoughts.
He's cute. But TINY... well tiny.. ha ha. I'm not lying.
Imagine a Vienna sausage, and some hair to it and then tell me if you'd be able to suck on that!
I'm afraid I'd bite it off or something! Which is why I haven't done it..
If he wanted a hand job I'd have to use 2 fingers! I think babies are born with bigger ones.
If I want to be more accurate I'd say maybe imagine
a polish hot dog, the size of a Vienna sausage since it's that size when it's hard.
cut the top off the sausage and that's probably what it looks like soft.
Probably wouldn't feel anything if he got to stick me with it!
yes, we haven't done that yet. I get over it to quickly... it explains why he always tries
to split me in half with his arm... Too afraid I won't feel the real thing..
Good thing too... I don't think the sell condoms that small, and I'd hate to get preggers
from that tiny squirt Gun... I mean water pistol.. I swear I crack myself up sometimes.
Aho's probably getting a good laugh at this!

As I was driving home, I was thinking to myself, NEVER AGAIN! Bad things happen in 3's.. and this was the third one.. so stop it.. Don't do it again.

I go home get an email from him, "same time tomorrow?"... OMG NO NO NO NO NO!

How can he not tell I don't like it that much..
maybe cuz I went back for 3rds.

Why do I do it you ask?
I've been thinking about it and can only find truly pathetic answers.

Maybe I need to feel wanted by the opposite sex, and let me tell you he wants me.
Knowing it makes me feel good in a weird way. I know it isn't love, because if it is
then it isn't mutual.
I think it is so sad and pathetic if this is true. I can't be subjecting myself to HORRID sex
just to feel wanted. How fucking pathetic is that? I can't even believe that I just thought
of that. I swear to God if that's true I need to go shoot myself in the head.

Is that what sex is for? Aside from reproducing; why do we do it?
I mean of course it feels real good... Sometimes not always.
Yet there are some losers who keep going back for more even if it's bad.

I mean I have morals here. One of them is to NEVER have bad Sex, but I've done
it 3 times. I swear I'm beginning to think it's me. He has GREAT sex.. while
I'm writing this blog about the shittiest sexual experience I've had...
It's all a matter of perception, it truly is and it's all a mystery to me.

What make it bad for me, is that when I'm done, I'm done. I'll get you off, but you don't want
me to, and I already said I'm not putting it in my mouth. You instead are content with
continuing what you've been doing to me... Which is fine, but 2 HOURS!!!???!!!
I can't take it. What do you think I'm a robot, that is made to cum again and again
without having a fucking heart attack? So finally when I make up a very convincing
excuse, and make my way to the exit, I don't understand how you can tell me that
you've had a great time, and when can we do it again?? FUCKING NEVER!
But I'm a liar, cuz I did it again didn't I?

So in order to ensure that I don't do it again, I did something slightly evil.. and
extremely stupid... I replied to his email and told him that I am getting married
this weekend and can never ever see him again.

I have no idea how I'm going to keep this lie up. I really am an idiot!~

But seriously think about how important sex is to us.
Not just any sex, Good sex.
Married couples who vow to be together till death do them part,
are cheating on each other all the time, just to be with someone
who does it better.

I need to go read Harry Potter, before this gets out of hand...
but alas my thoughts are deep and I just scared myself
into thinking I'm pathetic, wanting sex from a man even though he sucks at it.
I have now officially sworn to never do it AGAIN...
I will be honest and repost if I break my sworn oath...