Am I mad at you?

When you asked me if I was mad at you I just said no.. but the truth is:
I can't really explain the way I'm feeling right now.
I don't know if I'm mad at you, or if I just want to avoid you.
Even though I haven't seen you in forever I can still avoid you!
You are my friend, but you are allowed to be mad at friends right?

I don't know whats up with me. I know that it's me and not you.
How can I expect you to change? I don't know what I expected out of you,
you always were the way you are ever since the day I met you.
Everyone always said that you'd be the way that you are.

Why didn't I just listen to them? Even though it looks like we'd think alike,
it's so obvious that we don't. How can I put this out any clearer?
I guess it's like we are made out of the same materials, you know the same stuff,
looks like we are the same brand, but we ain't. We were packaged at two
totally different companies and now it's beginning to show.
Well it always was showing, it just took the right lighting for me
to see you for what you really are. While I still do care about you
and I think that you are a good person, and I'll always be there for you
if you need me. I just don't want to be there when you don't need me.

I guess when you said that I needed you, I just thought you'd be there.
I don't know why though, I mean when were you ever there?
You always were selfish with your time. Like that since high school.
You were never there for anybody, especially when they needed you.
Since you were never there, no one ever asked you to be there for them
because they all knew you wouldn't be. I was the only one who hung
on to you, and as usual it was my mistake. So this is me, officially letting you go.
Regardless of me letting you go though, I will always be there for you.
I don't know why though, I guess it's because I was taught to never
turn my back on people... I hate that I can't leave you hanging and teach you
what it feels like on my end.